Fellas, What Happens in Billings…

‘Sup, duuuudes! Have a bachelor party coming up, or just wanting to get away with the guys for a few days? Your main bro Winston has you covered. Here is my idea of the perfect guys’ getaway based on how me and Bert like to tear it up when we can get away from ZooMontana.

But just remember – there’s only one rule. What happens in Billings … is totally awesome!

For starters, you should definitely check out the Billings Brew Trail. You might have read my blog post about my experience on the trail with Bert (if not, you should). Man, did Bert and I have a good time that day …

The Billings Brew Trail is Montana’s only walkable brew trail at 1.5 miles so it’s pretty easy to get around if walking is your thing.

I know a lot of guys like outdoor adventure. It’s not really my thing, but I still have a couple of ideas you might like.

If you like winter sports, you should check out Red Lodge Mountain. This is the perfect place if you want an un-crowded, authentic ski experience where you can truly relax and have fun with the dudes. The mountain offers something for everyone from beginners skiing on Miami Beach, to intermediate skiing Lazy M, our 2- mile signature run, to the experts looking for a challenge in the double black diamond chutes of Cole Creek.

If you’re really into the snowshoe thing, check out Two Moon or Riverfront Park for what I’m told is a beautiful hike right next to the Yellowstone River.

Speaking of hiking and whatnot, Billings is home to hundreds of acres of city parks and 47 miles of walking and biking trails surrounding the city.

The stretch of trail along the Rimrocks is a fantastic place to take in the mountains with the bros. Zimmerman Park, Swords Rimrock Park and Phipps Park all offer more challenging hiking or mountain biking options among the sandstone formations. Even if you forgot your bikes at your home zoo, you can rent them here in Billings.

As you know, I am a highly skilled climber. One of the best as you can see from my Instagram page, @sloth_zoomontana. If you want to try to be like your best bud Winston, head over to Steepworld and learn how to climb just like me! This place is a 2,500 square-foot climbing gym and gear shop, and they also teach climbing lessons. I’m not sure if any of the instructors are sloths, but I’m sure the humans there are pretty good climbers, too.

Bert wanted me to tell you about his favorite spot here in Billings, Öx Indoor Axe Throwing. Even though Bert is a bison and not an ox, he is really good at axe throwing. He says humans really enjoy this, too, and are welcome here even though they aren’t oxen, either.

Yellowstone National Park is our region’s biggest draw, and while it is busiest in the summer, winter can still provide plenty of adventure. Access to the park is restricted during the winter months, but you can still tour using a guided snowmobile or snow-coach. And let’s be honest - that sounds a heck of a lot better than hiking anyways.

Not sure about you guys, but I’m getting a little bit hungry just thinking about all of that excruciating activity.

I’m a big fan of sweet potatoes, but I’m guessing you guys have a more diverse flavor palate. You’ll find plenty of good eats along the Billings Brew Trail as well as throughout the city.

I’ve heard a lot of humans rave about a place called Jake’s Steakhouse, which if I’m reading the context clues correctly, is known for delicious steak.

Another local favorite is called TEN. Serving traditional American cuisine, with unique international flavors, TEN's menu offers a variety of options including delicious steaks and fresh sea food. They might have sweet potatoes, too.

Well, I hope that gives you guys some good ideas.

P.S. If you do visit, let me know. Bert and I are still sort of on lockdown after that whole beer trail incident. But maybe we meet up with you somewhere.